Don’t Cry Because It’s Over, Smile Because It Happened

This is going to be short.

I’m tired. It’s exhausting to say until later. It’s impossible to do things when you know it’s your last time doing them.

My last time getting up in my house and living the full day here. My last time eating all three meals at home. My last full day with my family at home. My last shift at the pool. My last time climbing up into the lifeguard chair. My last time blowing my whistle for adult swim. My last time clocking out. My last time biking home.

Until winter break. Until next summer. Until, until, until.

My friends and I stood in a circle, shoulder to shoulder. We tried to be quiet, to let the moment be the moment, but the thing is we can’t do that. We can’t not talk with each other. We can’t not laugh.

So many arms have wrapped around me today, so many times I’ve been held. So many times, I’ve cried today, so many times I’ve laughed. I love my friends, my family, my neighbors. I love the people I love a lot. It’s that simple.

I’m scared too. I’m scared for what’s to come. To how time and distance and not seeing each other every day will change us. I’m scared.

That’s all there is to say.

I’m scared.

I love.

I am loved.

That’s all there is, except three more things. Always three.

When she said it?

“Meghan?” she called, her voice echoing through the dry, summer night.

“Yeah?” I called back.

“See you in another life, brotha.”

When she said it?

I cried.

When she said it?

“This all just got so real.” Her voice was thick with tears.

When she said it?

It hit me too.

When she said it?

“You’ll be fine, sweetie.” Even in the middle of tears, she was my voice of reason. Some things never change.

When she said it?

I let it all go.

See you in another life, brotha. Here we go.

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