It’s raining outside. It’s getting cooler here. How strange is that? In a way, it is making it all more real. I’m going to live here for all of the seasons. There will be no home fall, no home winter, no home spring. This is it. It makes it more real since it takes away the summer camp feeling. It makes it seem like this is life and it is.
I hate missing people, and one of the negatives of the internet is that you have so many more opportunities to watch the people you love change, and meet new people, and have new experiences and this and that and this and that–all without you. That’s what one of the hardest parts of all this has been so far: watching the people I love interact with each other without me there, watching them move on, making new friends, having new experiences, not being able to vent to them about something, anything, all the time, in the blink of an eye. There are certain people I go to about certain things but they’re all busy now. They, of course, probably wouldn’t mind me calling to vent but the thing is: they have their own lives now, lives that aren’t intertwined with mine 24/7 and you have to give them room to grow. So you swallow your words and you smile, as if everything is okay.
Because really? It is. Everything is okay. It’s just different but different is okay.