It’s been one month today since I left home. One month since it was my last day at the pool, since I cleaned everything out of my locker and walked out of the pool and onto my bike. Riding away from that place was the moment it hit me–one of the moments. One of the thousands of moments. One month ago, we had smores in the backyard with Marla, Samantha came over and we made jokes about this and that. One month ago my Kneesters and I stood in a circle in the driveway and laughed. Moments later, heartbeats later really, we told ourselves that we couldn’t keep delaying it and we found someone to say until later to and then more on to the next. Hugging 1 person until later is impossible. Trying hugging 8. There were tears, of course. One month ago, I rode for 10 hours in the car and we laughed and joked all the way here. There was all the awkward moments in the hotel when I tried to avoid everyone I thought was maybe going to school with me, not ready for it all yet. The first moment on campus, all those racing heartbeats, all of it. One month ago was the beginning of this new part of my life and here I sit, one month later, and I can’t help but wonder: am I different? Have I changed?
I don’t think so. I am still the same me. I am still the night owl who never goes to bed before 11:30. I am still the girl who laughs at the most random moments. I am still so many things that make me, me. Well then, if I am not different, at least not yet, there is another question that has to be answered. Have I learned anything new?
And well, the answer to that is as much yes, as the last one was no. I’ve learned so many things: I’ve relearned how much on an introvert I am and how much I love that part of me. I’ve learned things in International Relations that I never knew before. I’ve learned how to function in new situations, how to swallow your words. Some of these things I learned how to do a long time ago, but it was not until now that I had to do them so often. It is hard, holding some things back from the people around you, but not everything plays an important part in every relationship that you have. That is one reason that I am so lucky with my family and my Kneesters and my church fambam: I get to be me 100% and it is not in every relation that you get to do that, and honestly, I don’t like relationships in which I can’t be myself totally, but sometimes being yourself isn’t always the same thing. Sometimes you can be yourself completely in different ways.
One month. How can time move so fast?