My biggest question is how did I know this is exactly how I would feel now, one year ago?
Here’s what I posted on Google + for my Kneesters ❤
hey guys so this is kind of random but i’m having a freakout moment and basically crying to myself right now in my room. let me start from the beginning. i used to have this blog and i was doing this 101 questions thing and one of them was write a letter to yourself one year in the future as your future self. and i posted it exactly a year ago (plus 3 days) and it’s so so so so so strange to read it and have these feelings be my feelings and we just went to the WordFeed talk about how words are so incredibly powerful and that can change peoples lives and i don’t know, i just wanted to share. because this could easily be a letter that you wrote. i love you all and thanks for sharing my freakout moment with me ❤
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 20, 2011
If you are yourself 1 year from the future, how would you advise the you now?
I would tell myself things that I know now but i can’t let myself believe for some reason of the other. I would say “——, yeah you. listen to me. i am the future us, you know we beleive in that strange connection between the 3 of us: past us, now us, and future us. well this is future us and you need to listen to me. you know how you feel lost and alone all the time? you know how you miss panama and your amigos family and all the people of santa isabel and most of all rachael? well they miss you too. and they love you too. and you need to stop doubting that. i know that you hate high school but just keep your head up and do your homework and study for your tests because it will be over before you know it and hate it or like it, what youre doing right now, it’s effecting us in my now. love ——, you hold back too much. love openly and widely. love iida–she’s left us now. she’s back home. and you miss her. you miss everyone, you’re away from them all now–either you left them or they left you or maybe, for once, you both did it at the same time and it was impossible to tell. but you miss home and you miss your fambam and you miss abs and robs and zo and em and erms and everyone. you miss them so much it feels like panama, when your chest was empty with the missing parts but it’s worse because you’ve left home and you know that now there’s no going back. that now, you’re really alone and they wont be there waiting for you when you get back. because now you’re scared, you know that now they could leave just as easily as you did. so love them now. let them know it. and you were right you know, you are right. the school scene, the socialness is doesnt matter. you can’t remember half of high school. so just be yourself, love. we’re amazing. and most of all love, please please please let it go. dont be so stressed. our future–you love it. it’s hard and horrible but youve never been more in love”