today was impossible in so many ways. we got up at 4:50 and when I checked, all of my flights were on time and everything looked good. We ran over to breakfast and I ended up dry heaving into the toilet. a few hours later, we were on the shuttle to the airport and I was throwing up into a garbage can that I clutched on my lap. this continued for 4 hours, as we inched our way through the dark and the snow to Kansas City, a 2 hour max drive away. When we got there, pulling all of our luggage off of the bus was crazy but when I had my things, Beka and I lost Jackie and Amanda–who had already learned that their flights were canceled in the crowd. We rode to the terminal and Beka got off at Southwest. “Well, see you in the spring.” she said, smiling. I had smiled back, swallowing nausea and tears and not able to say a word. It was almost as if the universe knew that wasn’t it.

Because here I sit in a hotel room in Kansas City with Beka and Amanda. We are not home. I thought my flight was okay–I checked in and paid for my bag and everything and when I put my bag up to give it to the man behind the desk, he as quiet for a few heartbeats too long. That was when I knew. What I wanted to least had happened. I texted Jackie, Amanda and Beka. Beka responded that hers was canceled as well and so began the 4 hour stake out in the airport. Beka waited in line, I called my dad more times than I can count on 2 hands, I called Delta, I called Amanda, I called Jackie. Almost all of us Cottey women were–are–stuck and we didn’t know what to do. “Stay when each other,” my mom said when she called me as things were settling down. “You’re doing what’s right. Just stay with Beka and Amanda. You need each other, you need to watch out for each other, you’ll be safe together.” Amanda’s dad had to fax papers so we could get this hotel room since we’re all underage but here we sit, waiting to go home.

Hopefully everything tomorrow will work. Hopefully it’ll all be okay, but it’s strange. I don’t want to leave these two and I’m so glad that they are here. I need them.


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