Time is a strange thing. I am in a constant battle against it. I fight as hard as I can, run as fast as my legs will carry me, let my heart beat as fast and as hard as it can but time always wins. Still, no matter how many times we lose, my body, my mind and my soul always become blind again and decide that entering the battle is a good idea. It becomes endless then–this circle fight. It is strange to think that this weekend Cottey is holding the exact event that I attended last year. Some of my friends that I met at Celebration of Achievement last March and I will joke around about how strange it is that we knew each other then but didn’t really know each other and well, look at us now. But really, it is too weird for me to think about. Almost a year ago, I got on the plane for the first time by myself and flew to the Kansas City airport. I drove in the Cottey bus to Cottey and I spent the weekend here, surrounded. When I left, I honestly wasn’t sure if I would ever be coming back and look at me now. It’s strange, how so much changes from one moment to the next.
I am a Golden Key now. I will be the one who introduces people to Cottey, who helps them make their decisions. Sometimes, that doesn’t seem like that big a deal but then I sit down, and I think about it all and I realize that it is perhaps the biggest deal ever. I know how difficult deciding where to go to college was. Becoming that bridge, that stepping stone for the students that come to visit Cottey–it’s like holding someone’s life in your hands and being able to twist and turn it a little. It’s scary.
I don’t know–sometimes you just have to take a moment to pause and think about it all. But when ever I do that, I find myself falling faster and harder down the rabbit hole to the world where my thoughts have the power to drown me. I suppose I’m a bit mad but aren’t the best of us?