question marks

two thoughts crossed my mind today: first a child belongs to her parents but nothing lasts forever and so after many sunsets and thousands of sunrises, the child belong to herself, and then to her love, and then to her children and her family and lastly to the world and then to the earth itself. how strange…can’t you see? we never belong to no one. we are always tied to this earth somehow and everything is not always good but life is always beautiful because we are alive. 

sometimes it is very hard to love people, to not yell at them, to not snap. sometimes it is very hard to understand people, to not question them and their actions, to not question everything that they stand for, that they are made of.

there are thousands of questions that are on the very tip of my tongue that i would love to ask people and they are ready, too. they could slip out at any moment. if one thing would slip and click and change in this universe, then everything would be different and the words could come out. i would question motives and backgrounds and the deepest corners of cobweb covered hearts.

but i can’t.

i can’t because the universe didn’t shift and it didn’t change and it didn’t let me ask thousand questions and i have to believe that there is a reason for that. i believe in destiny, that every single thing that happens happens for a reason and that there are some things that no matter what other choices i had made would have still happened to me. except sometimes i question myself–maybe destiny and fate are the same thing. i prefer destiny though because to me it means that i make the choices and that not everything is predetermined by a god but instead by the world itself. i think it was destiny that i turned around. that everything that has happened before made me the one to get up. i think so many things and i swallow so many questions and i try my best to be the one who helps others and doesn’t hurt. but sometimes that is one of the hardest things that i have to do.

it is not easy to love but it is the difficult thing in the world that is the most worthwhile.

fairfarren

 

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