summer. say it again. turn it around in your brain like a child going down a twisty slide. summer. summer. let it fall over your tongue. roll around your mouth like marbles rolling around in a glass jar. summer. summer. summer. if you say it enough times, like anything else it will loose its meaning.
i close my eyes and i do everything that i just told you to do: i turn and i twist and i let the word fall down my eardrums and enter my bones to beat along with my heart. the word seems almost foreign despite how many times i have thought it in the last few moments. summer is that thing that we are always longing for. in the depth of winter, we want it to be by our sides and so when it finally is, we can hardly believe it. we spend the whole summer attempting to believe it and then it is gone.
although i will not be home for a week, technically it is now summer for me. there is no more school, no more essays, no more quizzes, no nothing. but it doesn’t seem that way because of something that i know: all the goodbyes to come. and yes, i mean goodbyes. jackie. my seniors. so many wonderful people.
life is never what you plan. i am remembering that now. it is a fact that often drowns me, but it is because of water that you live.