for the first time in my life, i feel old. and not in a good way. i have felt old before. when i went to panama, when i voted for the first time, when i graduated from high school, when i started college, whenever i use my credit card, when i got my license–but all of those times, it was old in a good way. in a i’m growing into a better person way. but this time, listening to my neighbors’ down the street, who are only a year behind me in life, as i sat outside by my own fire made me feel old. less carefree. less alive in some way and the worst part–im not sure why. i hate feelings that have no start point because it makes seeing their ending even harder. these words aren’t making any sense but they had to come out. the air they breathe, ironically, is slowly suffocating them and making them less alive.