movements of my fingers

time moves so very slowly.

a whisper.

a scratch.

my eyes blur.

my vision doubles and then disappears.

sleep calls

I come, loud and clear, calling its name.

ven, lo dijo, ven.

yo voy.

My life is different now.

All the colors have changed,

I wonder what it feels like for you so many miles away.

I have forgotten what my soul felt.

My mind is numb.

My fingers, cold.

Ven, lo dijo, ven.

Yo voy.

Strange feelings have the most pull.

Humans only accept their norm,

But when the norm changes,

All the leaves shift, murmur, and fall.

The ice breaks.

How incredibly beautiful.

How incredibly strange,

Here I am,

The place I have always been,

And yet, the place I have never been before.

How strange is that?

How strange is all of this?

I have seen the world,

Not all of it,

But enough to know the hidden things.

The facts stuck in trees,

Cowering behind books.

My eyes are wide.

The sun, too bright.

Rainbows are in my eyes.

My, my, my.

Half of my blood is across a sea,

An ocean.

Name it-it’s there.

My heart has scattered,

The wind blows too harsh,

And here I stand.

I can see my own footprints left in the sand, kissed by dust.

I stand on them.

I have been here before,

And yet–not.

Who are you to say?

Who are you to tell me what I do and don’t know?

What I do and don’t deserve?

When it comes to that, you are nobody.

Some people are two halves of one whole,

Some the same,

And others different,

Too different.

I have all of these,

And in turn, I am cursed and blessed.

I miss my family.

But I am still surrounded.

It is with myself I must live the longest,

And so myself, I must love first,

Before I can grow.

 

 

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