all i do is go in a circle. i hate circles. hate them. hate them more than anything else. friday, everything seemed horrible and then it seemed okay, good even and yet here i am, and everything is horrid once again. why? why? why? i don’t know how to feel. i went to a speaker tonight and she said to write to yourself. to tell yourself how you feel and then see if how you feel makes sense, if you’re being logical. but feelings are not logical. i feel something pulling at the corners, at every side of my heart and yet i don’t know what it is. is it time for new people? i have not felt this feeling since before panama.
i am scared.