cambio

i just wanted to take a quick second to write about how strange it seems. how strange all of this seems. i am working on homework and i accidentally just clicked on the wrong icon and ended up opening up iMovie and so of course, I watched the video that I made of 2nd semester last year and it just–wow. All of those feelings, everything that happened last year came flooding back to me. things are so different this year. i know very well that people don’t stay the same forever, that things don’t stay the same forever. we are lacking Jackie. We have gained Emilie, Myisha, Hazel and Chloe. Of course things are not the same. They are different. And the hardest thing to remember is that different is not always bad. I can not apologize for the way that I feel. If i have done everything I can, I can not apologize for a relationship deteriorating. I tried, I gave it my all. If we can not grow together, then we will grow apart. We can still be friends though, still share this Cottey bond, if for nothing else but the sake of history. I need to remember that. Last night was fcc days, and despite all of the drama that went down during what should have been purely joyous moments, I felt happy. I remembered what Cottey is supposed to be and I couldn’t sleep because words I needed to say were pouring out of every inch of me. So I said them and I remember that I have to choose to be happy. I must try harder. I must learn to forgive. Because change isn’t always someone’s fault. Sometimes, it just happens.

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