there are quite a few feelings in this world that you can’t quite explain. i can’t list them of course, because the feelings that are impossible to explain are even impossible just to put a label on the existence of. yet here i am, doing what i have just labeled as impossible.
i will start two days ago, at 5 in the morning when Katie and Hazel woke up just to go to breakfast with Amanda and I, who were catching the shuttle to the airport at 6am. they ate with us, carried our luggage, held us tight while we exchanged farewells and then stood outside in the brisk morning air for 15+ minutes waiting for the bus to leave before chasing after it as we pulled out of the Cottey chapel drive.
then when I got off the plane at home and walked out of the gate and down the stairs to the music of bagpipes and Emmaray’s waiting arms. My family, talking long and hard. Laughing, just the same. Hugs. Then yesterday and 2 hours with Emily and Emmaray, my rocks. and today, a beautiful winter morning and a wonderful winter night with family and friends and food and conversation. mix all of this together. all of this belonging, all of this celebration, all of this love and support. that is the feeling i can’t explain. that has no name but the feeling that i love.