annoyances of an introvert

i feel a bit conflicted about how to describe this annoyance I feel–a pet peeve? i am not sure that that is the right word since the annoyance i feel it towards myself–i think? let me explain. one of the things that bothers me the most is the idea of eating alone. now, it’s not that i don’t like to eat alone. i actually like to eat alone, just like i would not mind going to the movies alone, or how i don’t mind going shopping alone [shopping at a non clothes store that is] or how i don’t mind going to the gym alone. it is not these actions that i don’t like. it is how somehow doing things alone has been labeled as socially unacceptable by society. somehow doing all of these things alone makes you a loner, a weirdo, strange, unfriendly, friendless. but here’s the thing: i am none of these things. i have a great deal of friends, but when i go to eat brunch alone, i can’t shake the feeling that i am being judged by everyone in the room, that everyone is pitying me and wondering why i am sitting alone. and i hate hate hate that. i shouldn’t have to feel that way–like society is rejecting me just because i am eating alone. it is a gesture, an action, that should mean nothing at all. i like to be alone. why is that so horrible? and then i get frustrated not only at society for making me feel like this but at myself for letting society make me feel like this. how do you escape something you are so much a part of?

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One thought on “annoyances of an introvert

  1. ugh THIS. so much.
    though my attitude lately when i do sit by myself is kind of a ‘f*ck you i’m superior’ attitude; all those suckers that think they have to sit by other people to not be alone. ha.

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