every piece of happiness in this world is simply an illusion, waiting to be shattered by a moment. I want to cry, I really do. There are so many things I want to do, but I don’t hold all the pieces of the puzzle. Why can’t we hold on to them? Why? Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy!?!?
and that is impossibly hard for me because i do not love shortly or easily. when the love comes, it comes hard and forever.
to say the things i said tonight, to whisper those words–it was not easy. but i made a list, a list of five things and I knew I could not sleep until they were all no longer there. so i spat my words out. or whispered them. either way, they are circling around me, falling to the ground, like already ruined snow. but those falling words? they’re not stuck inside. so suddenly, finally, i can breathe.