here it is

can I even explain this to you?

A few days ago, I wrote to Hazel: “you are me in so many ways. I think we are born missing pieces of who we are and we have been set out to find them. I am so blessed to have found a piece of me in you.” As interesting as the concept is, it’s not what I want to write about right now, as I sit in my room in Maple cabin alone, since Holly is gone. No, I want to write about how if we truly are on a journey to find the missing pieces of who we are, then in order to do this, we must read the books. Read the books? No, I the word lover, am not talking about how words can become part of you. I am talking about how in order to discover if someone is truly a piece of your missing soul, then you have to be willing to take the time to sit back and talk to them and discuss their lives with them, everything from their strange (joke?) obsession with building a robot dinosaur to where they are going to university next year to their favorite TV shows. You have to discuss the issues that they face, that you both face. You have to share moments. You have to invest part of yourself, through your time and listening, in them in order to find out if they even have anything to give you. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t.

Why am I writing about this? Because as I have interacted with Holly (my roommate, WI), Kirsty (Scotland), Lisa (WI), Rachel (WI), Min (WI), Kez (New Zealand), Amanda (WI), Jesse (New Zealand), Peter (Poland), Megan (England), Ericah (WI) and Andrea (WI) [Lake Lucerne Staff] and Kelcie (WI), Charlotte (Wales), Joe (Australia), Michael (Australia), Hunter (WI), Whitney (WI), Rebekah (WI), and Andy (WI) [Pine Lake Staff] this past week and a half, I have been overwhelmed by the fact that we are all books and these people are all books that I have never read before. I want to form relationships with them. I want it to come fast and quick and easy because I want to be at the point with them that I am with my Cottey sisters and my Kneesters and my Church Family but here is the thing I keep having to remind myself as I get annoyed that people are playing favorites towards the international staff and letting the cool factor influence their decisions and actions: friendships must form genuinely or truly not at all.

So that is one point: wait. Be patience. Take the time to read the books and they will open doors for you. Here is the next point: I will forever continue to grow. Sometimes I think I’ve learned all that I need to know about myself but this past week was Red Cross training and since I am already certified as a lifeguard, I spent Tuesday and Wednesday working down with the horses. I don’t like horses. I don’t like animals as a rule. Cats, baby versions of larger animals and small dogs are the exceptions. But these people, Holly, Andrea, and Laura, they had trust in my ability. An ability I didn’t even think that I had. It really started off with me going to help Andrea feed the horses on Monday night and then bam, suddenly I was brushing them and riding them and walking them on trails and Laura asked me if I could be put down as someone to help with the basics of the horses when need be and I am not sure of myself but I said yes partly because these people are sure of me and that gives me confidence.

So what have I learned? I can do all I need to and more. Getting to know people is hard. Living in groups is hard. The sun burns. But this sense of community? It seems to have spurred from practically nothing and yet—here it is.


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