a random collection of thoughts…
people keep talking to me about college, the phase of college, life, what life will be and all i feel is deflated. yes, that’s the word i’ve been looking for. the only thing that moves me forward is the prospect of being done. i just want to be done. i am ready to learn in a different way, from the world, instead of so entirely from books and the mouths of my professors.
“so you aren’t a fan of America then?” “i understand the benefits I receive by holding a US passport, the privileges I have because I am a US citizen, but no, I’m not really patriotic at all.”
ironic isn’t it, that i wanted to move closer to home and yet i’ve just decided to move to baltimore for 11 months.
i hate when i get the feeling that i’ve completely forgotten how to speak Spanish.
for the first time in a long time, i considered raising my hand and say “why are we doing this? i don’t want to do this. it’s a waste of my time. i’m not doing it.” and a large part of me would have relished in the chaos i created.
will i ever stop missing Cottey?
spanish music beats in my ears and i long for my home across the sea.
today i realized something: my college experience is tied together by two strings: feminism and Spanish. if you know me at all, just think about it. it’ll all start to make sense.