my anxiety steal from me. every day, it comes inside my world and takes what is mine, without asking, without permission, it takes.
it takes my desire to be spontaneous, my dreams, my plans. sometimes it erases them, sometimes it just shifts them but it comes and makes new when I desired the old.
it often steals without notice. this suddenness allows it to take my ability to trust my own desires, thoughts and opinions. it steals my faith in myself and my confidence, my sense of peace and my happiness.
it steals the pride I feel towards who I am and leaves a bitter taste of disgust in my mouth as I struggle to find balance in the reality it forms. it rips joy from my lips and it laughs at the doubt in plants within my body, resting behind my heart. it makes change impossible because I am never sure of what I want and who created what lies before me: me or it, a whisper of the night?
oh how I hate it. oh how many times I’ve told it to leave me alone. oh how it doesn’t listen because robbers have no cares for the way of the law.
I am not sure what to do because I belong to a logical set of bones and an already questioning heart. how do you fight with such weapons in your box? how do you even begin to fathom a victory when you know you are the weaker one before you even enter the battle?